15 Signs We Have a Toxic Relationship with God

Our relationship with God is meant to be strong and beautiful. However, just like any other relationship, it can become toxic if we're not mindful and careful. Recognizing these signs is the first step towards healing and repairing our connection with the Lord. Remember, every relationship takes consistent effort and intentionality. Just because a relationship is healthy one day does not mean it will always be healthy unless there is consistent work and mindfulness to preserve the health of the relationship. Without further ado, these are 15 signs that reveal we might have a toxic relationship with God:

1. We Are Selfish (It's All About Us)

Philippians 2:3 - "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves."

If our prayers and conversations with God revolve only around our needs and desires, without considering His will or others, it’s a sign of toxicity in the relationship. Healthy relationships require care and consideration on both ends.

2. We Are Prideful

Proverbs 16:18 - "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

If we approach our relationship with God with arrogance and entitlement, it will be impossible to grow in our relationship. The key to God's heart is humility.

3. We Harbor Unforgiveness

Matthew 6:14-15 - "For if we forgive other people when they sin against us, our heavenly Father will also forgive us. But if we do not forgive others their sins, our Father will not forgive our sins."

Holding grudges and refusing to forgive not only damages our earthly relationships but will also affect our spiritual relationship with God because God sees our forgiveness towards others as appreciation and acknowledgment of His forgiveness towards us.

4. We Don't Seek His Will

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our understanding; in all our ways submit to Him, and He will make our paths straight."

When we make a habit of not seeking God's guidance in our decision-making and rely on our own wisdom alone, it can strain our relationship with God. We end up prioritizing our own understanding over trusting in Him, which will gradually lead us down a path that doesn’t align with His plan for us.

5. We Don't Claim Him in Public

Matthew 10:32-33 - "Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven."

If we're hesitant to acknowledge God or our faith in public, it's a sign that our relationship with God is suffering. God wants us to be proud of Him, and He enjoys when we are not ashamed to love Him out loud.

6. We Give God the Silent Treatment (Lack of Communication)

Colossians 4:2 "Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving."

If we avoid communication with God when we’re upset or not satisfied, it shows that we only like Him when things are going our way. God desires unconditional love from us.

7. We Gold Dig (Greed and Materialism)

1 Timothy 6:10 - "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

If we find ourselves constantly chasing after material possessions and putting them above our relationship with God, it can actually get in the way of our walk with Him and create some problems in our connection with God. He doesn’t want us to love Him or use Him for what He can provide. He wants us to love Him for who He is.

8. We Cheat (Idolatry)

Exodus 20:3 - "You shall have no other gods before me." Matthew 22:37: "Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind.'"

When we choose other things over our relationship with God, it’s considered idolatry. God equates it to cheating on Him because He wants to be the one that we trust and love and share intimacy and vulnerability with. When we give our heart and devotion to other things or people and not God, He becomes jealous for us and our time.

9. We Keep Secrets From God

Proverbs 28:13 - "Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy."

Secrets and hidden sins can damage our connection with God. Transparency is key to a healthy relationship. Although God sees our hearts, He wants us to acknowledge and in include Him in good times and bad times because He wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives. Shutting Him out of different parts of our life is hurtful and damaging to the strength of our relationship with Him.

10. We Lack Trust (Doubt and Unbelief)

Psalm 62:8 - "Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

Lack of trust in God's plan and promises can erode our faith and make our relationship feel toxic. God truly desires us to believe in Him and trust Him in our relationship. Relationships cannot thrive without trust.

11. We Disobey

1 John 2:3-4 - "We know that we have come to know Him if we keep His commands. Whoever says, 'I know Him,' but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person."

If we keep disobeying God, it might mean our connection with Him isn't as strong as we think. It's a sign to take a closer look at our relationship and make it more authentic. Obedience is a way to prove that we trust and support God and His plan for us.

12. We Forget About Him When Things are Good

Psalm 34:1 - "I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth."

If we only turn to God when we're in trouble and neglect Him during good times, our relationship may be suffering. If we forget about Him once things start looking better, it hurts God’s feelings.

13. We Don't Show Gratitude or Appreciation

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus."

Expressing gratitude and appreciation is vital for a healthy relationship with God because there are many things that God is faithful in doing for us that we often are not aware of, overlook, or fail to acknowledge.

14. We Are Hypocritical

Matthew 23:27-28 - "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean."

If we present ourselves as dedicated believers in public but behave differently in private, it's hurtful to our relationship with God because He knows our true intentions. Knowing better but not doing better looks like we don’t genuinely care about His feelings or expectations.

15. We Don't Repent (We Make Excuses and Avoid Taking Accountability)

Proverbs 28:13 - "He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy."

Taking responsibility for our mistakes and seeking forgiveness is essential for having a healthy relationship with God. This can also be a form of gaslighting. Although gaslighting will not work against God, the attempt still hurts our relationship with Him.

By addressing these issues and working on our connection with God, we can build a healthier and more fulfilling spiritual life. Remember, God's love and grace are always available to those who seek a genuine and open relationship with Him.